Serving like never before

I've served in church, volunteered at pregnancy resource center, worked with middle schoolers both at church and at outdoor school, but nothing is as rewarding and lovely as serving my husband. At bible study we've been talking about praying for your husband when you're frustrated instead of letting your tongue run wild and end up saying things you don't mean or doing things you don't mean. To serve him gladly and with a warm heart rather than punish him with a cold shoulder or cutting remarks.

I took these practices in conjunction with how a knoble wife is described in Proverbs 31, and started trying my hardest to apply them. Trust me, it has not been a cake walk. There are mornings, like today, where we had a very short, but slightly harsh conversation about money and in my mind, as soon as it was over, I stone walk him. I didn't want to talk or interact. I went about getting ready as quickly as I could and did not make him a good breakfast, instead I heated up a piece of lemon loaf from starbucks with a banana on the side. I didn't leave without hugging and kissing him though, because by then I had softened up and felt like I had to force myself to.

One of the girls in my bible study mentioned to me reading the book "The Power of a Praying Wife" and how much it really helped her in her marraige and now it's stronger and better than ever. So, naturally, I was eager to read it and my grandma had actually given it to me when I got married. I have started reading it and about 3 pages in to the introduction started crying, maybe it's because I'm on my period or maybe it's because it really opened up my heart so that I could see my sins and how I was hindering our marraige rather than helping it by having too high of expectations and not willing to die to myself and be submissive instead of strong headed. I don't mean submissive as in a door mat but in the sense of letting go of always wanting to do what I want and do things my way.

Nevertheless, serving him the previous days and nights to this post has brought so much joy to my heart and a stronger love for my husband. To see his eyes light up when he comes home to a hot dinner, even if it's just chicken and rice, makes me that much more excited to see him. Rubbing his feet after work when he doesn't expect it and hearing the satisfactory sigh as he relaxes, helps me relax too.

My discipleship leader likes to quote this a lot and it is beautiful, but I didn't really realize just how beautiful until now:

"I slept and dream that life was all joy. I awaoke and saw that life was but service. I served and understood that service was joy."  -Rabindranath Tagore (an indian poet)

Psalm 61:8 "So will I ever sing praises to Your name, as I perform my vows day after day."